Classical Economics and the Peanut Butter Love Glove

Back in the days when I used to smoke weed I ate a big bag of Cheetos a couple of times. Man, those two go hand in hand. I ate a pack again the other day and felt like I sucked more MSG than two kilos worth of instant Mi Goreng. For the unacquainted, Cheetos are these super orange cheez(it’s a powder) and bacon balls. They make your fingers go fluoro orange like you’ve been giving Ernie and Bert proctology exams. I reckon they’d give anaphylactic and asthmatic kids wheeze attacks. “Mum uh uh uh Mum!!! Uh uhwhheeeso wheeeeeessssy”

The best thing about Cheetos is their mascot Chester. The back of the bag is entirely dedicated to listing Chesters Rad facts.
Favourite apparel: Sleek pair of shades (sleek pair of shades!! Awesome Radical Surfboarding!)
Favourite Snack: Cheetos (Well duh! Me too Chester, me too. I cry until my mum buys them for me every day and I eat them at school in the toilets. Awesome!)
Favourite pattern: Spots (I have spots but they aren’t my favourites. I hate tinea but I love you Chester!!!)
Occupation: Amateur Skater and Surfer (I go to school. I liked year 6 so much I’m doing it again)
Fave pastime: Catching radical air on half pipes and hanging gnarly on great waves (Hey Chester I don’t like swimming or roller skating. I do like rubbing back and forth on my belly on the soft mats in the gym at school)

Ethnography

Do you ever wonder if the women behind the cosmetic counters at Myer cry into their Lean Cuisine at night? That section is harsh- the lights are turned up so high that you start feeling dehydrated after 30 seconds. Light bounces off all the surfaces and everything doubles as a mirror. The employees have bee-hive hair, turtlenecks and are called Jan. Jan’s wear too much makeup and perfume. Jan’s get married to barrel chested Barry’s who eat too much meat and womanise. If Jan didn’t work at Myer she would be nicer. Her desperate turkey wrinkles and white pumps would fade. Ethnography.

Karren spends too much time with her mother-in-law. They shop together every weekend. Karren collects watches “if they are on special I gotta get them. My boyfriend says ‘don’t you bring back another stuffin watch”. Karren laughs at dick jokes. She probably needs to eat more raw vegies and get some roughage. I’m not sure why she shaves off her eyebrows and draws them back on with caramel coloured pencils. They’re either on or off lady. Ethnography.

Ken is a social climber. “It’s funny you should mention Robert” even if the mention was brief “He and I both love fishin’. We’re getting to know each other real well.” Ken bluffs his way, feels he has nack for that kinda thing. His nose looks like it has been chewed by a rat. He talks too much about himself. He talks too much about himself. Ethnography.

wick-wick-wicka-work

The first thought that goes through my head when I begin a new job is "It's going to feel really good when I quit this job." Every single job I've ever had. What will I say when I leave? Should I wear short shorts and a gortex jacket? I bet you Nas doesn't have to sit at a desk and talk to boring people. I bet you Nas says " Awwww hell" and goes out and buys ten pairs of Basketball shoes. I bet you Nas eats fried chicken whenever he feels like it and washes it down with a chocolate protein shake. I bet Nas has super tough dogs and a black car.
"To see me on the street without a pound of reefer would be like Malcom X catching the jungle fever" Ain't gonna happen is it Nas?
"Damn straight fool."

Hip Hop has been ruling my life lately.