Unagi Unago

I just drank some soy sauce. I'm like an eel. It gives me the powers. I can shoot salt crystals out my eyes if I concentrate hard enough. They sort of look like diamonds made of cokerdee-cola. They call me Unagi. I smoke twigs and ride my bike real fast with no shirt on. One time I licked a window.

24 non stop, I don't stop, can't stop, won't stop

You know when the coffee runs out and you start drinking tea and you think 'I like this tea' but really you're like ' I want coffee' and you could go to the shop and get some more but that would involve doing something and you've already walked the dog and that basically counts as doing something constructive and besides you've got to beat this Brazilian kid who calls himself Tuj Burrow and keeps pipping you by a fraction of a point on an online surfing game?

Me neither. I've been getting things done. Logged some serious time researching things. For instance I looked up 'fingering' on Yahoo!Answers. Man, time well spent. Results:

roma12 asks:
Fingering ?
i became close to a girl a couple months to a year ago and I ended up fingering her, I washed my hands after wards but why do i seem like I "can't use" those fingers anymore because i think there is stuff there. can this be a form of ocd? Cause I feel like I cant touch food or anything else without thinking something bad will happen? What are some ways I can overcome these thoughts? Serious answers please!

please don't smoke answers:
Sounds to me like a case of "coyote ugly". She may have not been someone you really found attractive. While in the act did you feel a bit squeamish as though something wasn't right?
Typically if shes healthy and attractive and your on fire over her, you would not want to wash your hands after wards. There seems to be an issue with her not being very clean.
Take some alcohol and pour it over that hand, it kills everything and this will correct your mindset and you'll be able to move on. Good Luck.

So pretty much didn't waste any time.

I also spent time putting awesome combinations of swear words into a Japanese translation to hilarious effect:

Hakuso must eat my fuck. Then I listen to the Misfits

So yeah, things are non-stop here. I'm getting stressed out.

Kewpie Mayonnaise Love Buzz

For the bed bug bite fans, another banger, three days in. I'm more rugged and raw than Wu-Tang. I'm the welt king, crown me Prince Pustule, rub me down with ointment and pump me so full of antihistamine that I day sleep through a whole week and my cheeks glow warm. The bites are still hanging round although I don't look so leperish- more like a 5 year old with a belly full of chicken pox.

You know somedays I listen to Nirvana Bleach over and over again. Sometimes I walk to the fridge over and over again and there's still no food so I squeeze a length of Kewpie mayonnaise on my fingers and eat it. And I get all momentarily buzzed on the amazing complexity of this fabulous Japanese mayonnaise. Then I feel sick. Fucking sick.

I'm so itchy. Bloody hell.

Japan was rad

Everything ruled. Except for bed bugs in Kyoto. I took some out but ultimately lost the war. If Tokyo had waves I could probably live there. For a while at least. Best food, beer, feel.

Hiatus

I'm going to Japan tomorrow for a couple of weeks. Probably won't be updating this blog while I'm away. I will, however, be downing Yebisu and slurping soba.

Am sure to return with tales of my social retardedness and chafe.