RZR SHRP, CRCK RDR

Excellent poem:

Able bodied people. Why do you stand on the escalator? Why do you block the overtaking lane? Why do you stand on the stairs that go up? I'm a busy man, I've got business. But you stand there. I want to tip bleach in the gene pool. Start afresh. Slow walking people - it's cleansing time. I'm a busy man, I got business mang. I'm dosed on cafe', my heart pumps like Pharlap's. I need to climb these electric stairs. But you stand there, thinking about Chicken Tonight and Australia's got Talent. We are rooted. Eternally.



I bought a coffee. It cost three bucks but I only had a twenty. The barkeep said he didn't have change so I could just pay next time I'm in. The stress of this has been weighing on my mind heavily. What if I got knocked on the head (or asphyxiated while wrestling) and forgot about this agreement? I could walk back into the cafe and order another coffee and be charged six bucks. I would think the guy was pulling a le' decption (French - language of love). And I'd pay it because I am a sucker that walks on elevators but would feel aggrieved. What about if I go in but he's not working? Do I pay his replacement the money and say "TELL THE GUY THAT WORKS HERE THAT THIS GUY CAME IN AND PAID FOR TWO COFFEES BUT ONLY HAD ONE BECAUSE HE OWED YOU MONEY FOR ONE THAT HE DRANK PREVIOUSLY"?

It's been 8 days now and I'm in a moral conundrum. I never asked for this responsibility. I now understand what it's like to be a father or someone who uses pawn shops.

24 non stop, I don't stop, can't stop, won't stop

You know when the coffee runs out and you start drinking tea and you think 'I like this tea' but really you're like ' I want coffee' and you could go to the shop and get some more but that would involve doing something and you've already walked the dog and that basically counts as doing something constructive and besides you've got to beat this Brazilian kid who calls himself Tuj Burrow and keeps pipping you by a fraction of a point on an online surfing game?

Me neither. I've been getting things done. Logged some serious time researching things. For instance I looked up 'fingering' on Yahoo!Answers. Man, time well spent. Results:

roma12 asks:
Fingering ?
i became close to a girl a couple months to a year ago and I ended up fingering her, I washed my hands after wards but why do i seem like I "can't use" those fingers anymore because i think there is stuff there. can this be a form of ocd? Cause I feel like I cant touch food or anything else without thinking something bad will happen? What are some ways I can overcome these thoughts? Serious answers please!

please don't smoke answers:
Sounds to me like a case of "coyote ugly". She may have not been someone you really found attractive. While in the act did you feel a bit squeamish as though something wasn't right?
Typically if shes healthy and attractive and your on fire over her, you would not want to wash your hands after wards. There seems to be an issue with her not being very clean.
Take some alcohol and pour it over that hand, it kills everything and this will correct your mindset and you'll be able to move on. Good Luck.

So pretty much didn't waste any time.

I also spent time putting awesome combinations of swear words into a Japanese translation to hilarious effect:

Hakuso must eat my fuck. Then I listen to the Misfits

So yeah, things are non-stop here. I'm getting stressed out.

soy you want to be woman?

Apparently soy products are full of oestrogen. Not actual oestrogen, more like plant based hormones. (Phyto-oestrogen?)A guy that drinks soy milk, eats tofu, and wears sandals is less likely to develop prostate cancer than a guy who eats red meat, drinks cream and wears tracksuits and Avon talcum powder to weddings. I heard this on the news.

I thought to myself ‘excellent, that’s one thing that won’t be killing me’ (Obviously I’m probably going to die from police brutality. Life is cheap in Booragoon.) I’ve been sucking back the beany white since ’89.

Actually, hold on. If soy products are full of oestrogen, does that mean I could grow breasts like that bus driver that ate nothing but chicken, chicken full of hormones? Note; Also on the news.

I’ve been on to this for a while. I asked my doctor when I was 13. He said “no” in a South African accent, so more like ‘no’. Ok, then tell me why I can’t grow a beard? I’m twenty two and I can only cultivate the kinda fluff you see on trolley boys. I have to use mascara on my top lip to get into bottle shops.

I think I’m turning into a woman. A very handsome woman.

On a side note, have you noticed how coffee likes to beat the living crap out of soy milk. It’s true, you make some coffee, pour some soy milk in and the bastard curdles. It looks like Nescafe miso.

Peace