Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Call Helen the nextdoor neighbour as I have fallen and hurt myself quite severely and need urgent medical attention urgently

Vasco De Gama, or Vaseline Pyjamas as I and Leunig 'the Jew hating scribbler' like to call him, was a magnificent man. For he invented Los Americanos, or as I and Colin 'the dandruff flaking toilet water officianado' like to call it ; The America. He found it by sailing across vast lakes and billabongs. It was nested at the bottom of Canadia - later to become Candida and the Thrushy plains. Vaseline Pyjamas declared that the new world would be a land where men could dig holes and kick rocks with freedom. He proceeded to say that The America was greater than France and that he would never go back, nor would he continue to sleep with curly red heads as he had discovered a country and no longer needed to slum it.

God I love you.

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