I met some English people the other day. They were really great except they didn't laugh at the greatest joke I know. I think it must have been lost in translation. I even prepped them up with useful facts and scene setting information that should have ensured that the joke would be a success and I would forever be remembered as the best part of Australia.
I said to them "What do you call bins in England, dustbins?" and they said "yes dustbins".
So I said "Well you know wheelie bins, the ones we have here" and they said "yes".
"And the guy that comes and collects the dustbins is a dustbin man?" and they said "yes" and I said "Well we call him a rubbish man".
This was great. The foundations were poured like warm Italian cement over a Fremantle backyard - I'd covered all the knowledge holes. We were level like a warm Italian pizza bianca. I could now proceed like a warm Italian greyhound.
And so I began.
"A rubbish man comes to a house to collect the bin. He notices that the bin is not out the front so he asks the resident, who is a man.
'Where's ya bin?"
"Oh" says the man " I've been up North".
"No" says the rubbish man "where's ya wheelie bin?"
"Oh" says the reluctant resident "I've wheelie bin in prison."
Hhahahahahah. Best joke ever. But they didn't laugh. I even did a good voice for the man who had been in prison (probably for pool chemical theft or an upskirt website). So I told the joke again but this time finished it with "I'VE WHEELIE BIN IN PRISON".
As Ricky Gervais says 'If they don't understand, talk louder'.
Eventually they got it. I mean they understood the joke. They didn't laugh though. I did get a "that's a funny situation". Obviously British people, although totally great, don't have a sense of humor.
Ethnography. Right here.
Showing posts with label Comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Comedy. Show all posts
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
No love BC
A million years ago when I went to University and did nothing but eat fried rice and try to read Russian novels.There was a mature age international student in my class. Unlike most mature aged students this guy didn't spout philosophical theories about genetics "Physically fit males, such as olympians, have female offspring. It's a scientific fact", try to fellate the lecturer at every given moment, or tell the kids how it really was out in the harsh cold world that they had mastered.
Once we were sitting around in a room waiting for a tutor to arrive. He announced to the class that he would like to practice his stand-up comedy routine. He smiled and said that it was 'the perfect opportunity!" The room was unresponsive. A guy with a scarf rolled his eyes. I could sense that this was going to be awesome. I hoped his jokes would be about wankers wearing scarves and how they smelt like meat.
And so he stood in front of the class and began his routine. He was eager. This would be the first step in a life long career.
"A robber broke into a house where three women lived. They were in the kitchen. They were doing some things.
The robber said "Give me your money!"
The three women said "Oh no! Please don't take our money!"
And so the robber said "Ok. I will not take your money as long as you do this one thing."
"Anything" they said.
"When you go to sleep tonight", the robber said, "you must lie like the letter 'i'"
And the comedian put his hands above his head so he became the human embodiment of the letter 'i'. He then smiled at the class expectantly. This was an excellent joke and he knew he had told it well.
They looked at him.
He stretched out his arms above his head and said "LIE LIKE THE LETTER 'I' !!"
He did a little laugh in the hope of kick start the surely imminent laughter explosion. No love.
The guy in the scarf rolled his eyes. A fat girl stared. The tutor walked in and the comedian sat down.
I'm not really sure what the joke was about but it rates as one of the greatest jokes I've ever heard.
Once we were sitting around in a room waiting for a tutor to arrive. He announced to the class that he would like to practice his stand-up comedy routine. He smiled and said that it was 'the perfect opportunity!" The room was unresponsive. A guy with a scarf rolled his eyes. I could sense that this was going to be awesome. I hoped his jokes would be about wankers wearing scarves and how they smelt like meat.
And so he stood in front of the class and began his routine. He was eager. This would be the first step in a life long career.
"A robber broke into a house where three women lived. They were in the kitchen. They were doing some things.
The robber said "Give me your money!"
The three women said "Oh no! Please don't take our money!"
And so the robber said "Ok. I will not take your money as long as you do this one thing."
"Anything" they said.
"When you go to sleep tonight", the robber said, "you must lie like the letter 'i'"
And the comedian put his hands above his head so he became the human embodiment of the letter 'i'. He then smiled at the class expectantly. This was an excellent joke and he knew he had told it well.
They looked at him.
He stretched out his arms above his head and said "LIE LIKE THE LETTER 'I' !!"
He did a little laugh in the hope of kick start the surely imminent laughter explosion. No love.
The guy in the scarf rolled his eyes. A fat girl stared. The tutor walked in and the comedian sat down.
I'm not really sure what the joke was about but it rates as one of the greatest jokes I've ever heard.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Ethnography and teh search for Good Clean Fun
You know that fuckface in your class in year 8 that recounted lines from 'Friends' like it was the funniest shit ever in some faux homogenous american accent? "Ross is so funny!! Chandler, ohmygawd Chandler! He's the funniest!!!HAHAHAH Friends is the best show ever. I'm 12% retarded. Chicken is a food group. I'm going to smoke a pen".
That kid grows up and gets worse. They get a job, unfortunately breed, and work for a decade or so. Hit 35 and decide that they need a little more zing in their lives. They think back to when they were the happiest, as a 13 year old making curly haired kids wheeze cheezles at their verbatim regurgitation of pulpy sitcom paff. They were funny. They were fucking funny! 'That's what I am! A comedian! It all makes sense now. I'm quitting my job, well maybe not yet, but soon and I'm going to become a comedian and give the greatest gift of all! '
And Mark from year 8, now a 35 year old female, pulls on the docs and unicorn T-shirt and embarks on a career of professional funny. I've done some research.
Example one: Kim the Kidder
Kim could have gone to school with you. She's a bag of laughs. A real dry, witty American comedian.
Here's a little about her from her myspace (warning: extreme side splitting may occur LOL!!!!!!!1111!!!!)
"ABOUT ME:
IM BASICALLY LIVING A LIFE OF QUIET DESPERATION.I HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS TO ONE OF YOUR QUESTIONS,I WAS TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL AND THEY NEVER CALLED BACK,IM LOST IN THE SAUCE,IVE HEARD IT THRU THE GRAPEVINE,CUZ THE PHONE WASNT WORKING.YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER BUT YOU CANT MAKE HIM FISH.THE GRASS IS GREENER,BEFORE YOU SMOKE IT.... "
Kim is totally kooky.
"I DIDN'T SLEEP A WINK LAST NITE
CUZ I ACCIDENTLY TOOK A VIAGARA AND I WAS UP ALL NITE"
HAHAHAHAHAH! Kim! My mind is melting. That was funny because Viagra gives people erections!!! Ha!
"I FOUND OUT I MUST ALSO BE A MAGICIAN,,,
CUZ AS SOON AS I TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES,,,PEOPLE DISSAPEAR,,,,I GUESS THATS WHY MY STRIPPER NAME IS THE BITTER DISSAPOINTMENT..."
WHAT!!???!!! HAHAHAHHAHAH KIM! No emoticons can describe the level of laughter I am producing! 'Bitter Dissapointment'! Oh no you didn't!! HAHAHA. LAL
"CALLED DRS. TODAY TO FIND OUT HIS NEW LOCATION,,
RECEPTIONIST ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO KNOW WHERE HE PRACTICED,,,I SAID 'HELL NO, I WANNA KNOW WHERE HE GETS IT RIGHT,,,'"
This one is political. I appreciate a comedian who can make comment on pressing issues. It's smarter comedy ' a smile in the mind' if you will. Americans have an inequitable public health system. Actually, maybe this is a racist joke about immigrant doctors. Kim, maybe clarify when you use this joke in performance. Other than that, massive joke.
Things learned: CAPSLOCK MAKES JOKES FUNNIER. ALWAYS USE IT.
Example 2: Maureen Sullivan
Maureen is more of your 'smart man serious pants' comedian in comparison to the no holds barred stylings of Kim the Kidder. But don't think for one minute that Maureen doesn't have what it takes to party with the big girls. Maureen throws down.
"Clean stand up comedy-observational and healthcare related humor. Truth be known, Im Irish, Catholic, divorced and remarried, overweight, out of shape, and a nurse.....whats NOT to talk about! "
Ha! This really appeals to me. She's not afraid to have a little laugh at herself and she keeps it clean. I bet she makes a mean cheesecake as well. (Notice use of upper case 'NOT'. That's obviously the joke catalyst). Clean jokes are just a little bit cleverer. I mean we can all say 'fanny' and get a cheap laugh but I like my comedy with some brain.
Note to Kim: This is how it's done.
Aw, Crap!
See how she works the room. The audience is hanging on every word. And the punchline! My god! Obviously in this case crap isn't a swear word. This is probably in a bar where things are a little bit more adult. Obviously Maur Maur wouldn't be 'crapping' in politer company. But this is a bar. You can do a lot of things in bars and I'm pretty sure with Jokes like that Maureen wouldn't have picked up a young buck and got super adult. Then she would have made a joke about it , some maths based joke fooling around with the amount of times 18 can go into 55. 'Let me tell you ladies, a lot more times than you'd think. Don't forget to carry the one!!' I'm not sure what she means by 'carry the one' but it's sex innuendo and you don't have to understand. it's funny because it's about SEX!.
Actually, I think she's a sex pest.
The rest of you are perverts!
She does seem to bully kids though. Maybe I like 'The Kidder' better.
My biggest fan!
'Who's your favourite comedian Rory? It's ME isn't it. Say yes or I'll burn your eyelids with a cigarette!'
Kids you went to school with. What's up with them?
That kid grows up and gets worse. They get a job, unfortunately breed, and work for a decade or so. Hit 35 and decide that they need a little more zing in their lives. They think back to when they were the happiest, as a 13 year old making curly haired kids wheeze cheezles at their verbatim regurgitation of pulpy sitcom paff. They were funny. They were fucking funny! 'That's what I am! A comedian! It all makes sense now. I'm quitting my job, well maybe not yet, but soon and I'm going to become a comedian and give the greatest gift of all! '
And Mark from year 8, now a 35 year old female, pulls on the docs and unicorn T-shirt and embarks on a career of professional funny. I've done some research.
Example one: Kim the Kidder
Kim could have gone to school with you. She's a bag of laughs. A real dry, witty American comedian.
Here's a little about her from her myspace (warning: extreme side splitting may occur LOL!!!!!!!1111!!!!)
"ABOUT ME:
IM BASICALLY LIVING A LIFE OF QUIET DESPERATION.I HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS TO ONE OF YOUR QUESTIONS,I WAS TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL AND THEY NEVER CALLED BACK,IM LOST IN THE SAUCE,IVE HEARD IT THRU THE GRAPEVINE,CUZ THE PHONE WASNT WORKING.YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER BUT YOU CANT MAKE HIM FISH.THE GRASS IS GREENER,BEFORE YOU SMOKE IT.... "
Kim is totally kooky.
"I DIDN'T SLEEP A WINK LAST NITE
CUZ I ACCIDENTLY TOOK A VIAGARA AND I WAS UP ALL NITE"
HAHAHAHAHAH! Kim! My mind is melting. That was funny because Viagra gives people erections!!! Ha!
"I FOUND OUT I MUST ALSO BE A MAGICIAN,,,
CUZ AS SOON AS I TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES,,,PEOPLE DISSAPEAR,,,,I GUESS THATS WHY MY STRIPPER NAME IS THE BITTER DISSAPOINTMENT..."
WHAT!!???!!! HAHAHAHHAHAH KIM! No emoticons can describe the level of laughter I am producing! 'Bitter Dissapointment'! Oh no you didn't!! HAHAHA. LAL
"CALLED DRS. TODAY TO FIND OUT HIS NEW LOCATION,,
RECEPTIONIST ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO KNOW WHERE HE PRACTICED,,,I SAID 'HELL NO, I WANNA KNOW WHERE HE GETS IT RIGHT,,,'"
This one is political. I appreciate a comedian who can make comment on pressing issues. It's smarter comedy ' a smile in the mind' if you will. Americans have an inequitable public health system. Actually, maybe this is a racist joke about immigrant doctors. Kim, maybe clarify when you use this joke in performance. Other than that, massive joke.
Things learned: CAPSLOCK MAKES JOKES FUNNIER. ALWAYS USE IT.
Example 2: Maureen Sullivan
Maureen is more of your 'smart man serious pants' comedian in comparison to the no holds barred stylings of Kim the Kidder. But don't think for one minute that Maureen doesn't have what it takes to party with the big girls. Maureen throws down.
"Clean stand up comedy-observational and healthcare related humor. Truth be known, Im Irish, Catholic, divorced and remarried, overweight, out of shape, and a nurse.....whats NOT to talk about! "
Ha! This really appeals to me. She's not afraid to have a little laugh at herself and she keeps it clean. I bet she makes a mean cheesecake as well. (Notice use of upper case 'NOT'. That's obviously the joke catalyst). Clean jokes are just a little bit cleverer. I mean we can all say 'fanny' and get a cheap laugh but I like my comedy with some brain.
Note to Kim: This is how it's done.
Aw, Crap!
See how she works the room. The audience is hanging on every word. And the punchline! My god! Obviously in this case crap isn't a swear word. This is probably in a bar where things are a little bit more adult. Obviously Maur Maur wouldn't be 'crapping' in politer company. But this is a bar. You can do a lot of things in bars and I'm pretty sure with Jokes like that Maureen wouldn't have picked up a young buck and got super adult. Then she would have made a joke about it , some maths based joke fooling around with the amount of times 18 can go into 55. 'Let me tell you ladies, a lot more times than you'd think. Don't forget to carry the one!!' I'm not sure what she means by 'carry the one' but it's sex innuendo and you don't have to understand. it's funny because it's about SEX!.
Actually, I think she's a sex pest.
The rest of you are perverts!
She does seem to bully kids though. Maybe I like 'The Kidder' better.
My biggest fan!
'Who's your favourite comedian Rory? It's ME isn't it. Say yes or I'll burn your eyelids with a cigarette!'
Kids you went to school with. What's up with them?
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