Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Deep Sleep Eat

Last night my girlfriend was talking in her sleep. She was talking a lot. I decided to join in and influence her dreams. This way she will never leave me.

She said "I think we'll put you up for transfer". She's an intern and I think she thinks about her job at the hospital all the time, it invades her dreams.

"Will they have baked beans there?" I ask. "I love baked beans". In hindsight I could have come up with something a little more interesting, perhaps encourage her to let me eat soup whenever I feel like.

She responded in her best bedside manner "Oh, I'm sure they will." It was almost condescending. She'd worked out that I was a tricky patient and that baked beans were a sweet enticement to get me to lie down and submit to a catheter or a ward transfer.

She went on talking through out the night and each time I would say "These baked beans are delicious!","These are some expensive baked beans!", "I love baked beans". I think this constant repetition helped established my character as a dedicated bean fan. I imagined myself as a bald headed mole-man sitting upright in a hospital bed scooping beans straight out of the tin. "Beans, lovely beans"

After a while I thought "this is probably abuse" and stopped.

1 comment:

Jimmy Hats said...

It's not abuse, it's foreplay lad.