Wednesday, March 01, 2006


The recycling bin collection guy asked me for a band-aid today. His right hand was bleeding. I noticed that his other hand was missing a thumb. He’s probably had the job for two years, probably loses a digit annually. Why bother putting a band-aid on? Temporary solution to a permanent problem. I had a pair of secateurs on me. I could’ve got it over and done with there and then. I also have some whisky. I reckon he seemed to be the kinda guy who’d go for a little drinky drink cut cut.

Anyway I gave him the band-aid and he went and bled in the next door neighbours recycling bin. Maybe they make black pudding at the recycling depot. It’s funny, technically bins don’t belong to an individual, they belong to the council or the rubbish service provider. We just use them on loan basis. (note: this may not be true) But people get super pissed off when other people put crap in their bin. “That’s my fucking bin! Geez. It’s mine, I’m saving room for condom wrappers. I’m very sexually active, yeah I’m a real ladies man. Whoo the stories I could tell you.”

People have ownership issues. The white hairs that lived down the road from grandparents got extremely upset when people came and took the old chairs they put out for council collection. The old dude ran out and told collectors to bugger off. He then went and put his unwanted belongings in his shed. I couldn’t back this guy up more he was thinking globally acting locally. Old crap is meant to go in holes in the ground, we’d live in an extremely warped world if old gear was used again by poor people. How sick would it make you feel if you knew your old bike with no brakes or seat was being ridden around at all hours of the night by some sexually corrupt drama student. It’s enough to make a guy choke on his liver breakfast!

Bikes are pretty much 1989, everyone knows all the cool kids roll in shopping trolleys. Yeah, number one thing for care free teenagers with white shoes and a gut full of UDL’s is to get a lift home in a trolley. It’s totally awesome, and totally funny! “I’m gonna get a real spinny tattoo of like an alien smoking a joint on me chest.”

The local newspaper ran a amazing story on trolley theft. Did you know trolleys got stolen from supermarkets? It’s true, they find them in parks and swamps. I think the paper was onto something. I’m surprised a story that big got page three instead of the cover. No news sense!

The same paper had a story about residents signing a petition to try and close a local skate park down. Apparently there’s too much graffiti and skateboarding is too loud.
Rap music tells me ‘Graffiti won’t die.” Thrasher magazine tells me to “skate or die”.
No residents can come up against this. If you mix graff and skate your basically achieving immortality.


SC said...

Hey. I know this post has a few grammatical errrorrs. ThAT was dun on perperse. okey.

Bogan Lover said...

Yeah right. Jesusthere's some real dickheads live in Booragoon.

SC said...

what are you playing at fella? Your grammar is worse than mine. Jesus there's some real dick heads living in Kardinya.