Sunday, March 12, 2006

Tree Ollie

This Trolley story is hot!!! I opened a copy of the Melville City Herald to find a letter from a concerned resident titled 'Trolley Talk'. Ms. Neale warns all Melville residents that wayward trollies in the local shopping centre are dangerous. Trollies are known to be blown by the wind into automobiles causing damagae.

Garden city used to disallow trollies in the car park. Ms. Neale rues the day when K-mart was allowed to begin trading in the Garden City centre and actively pushed for customers to have the fancy American option of taking trollies to their cars. Disgusting! " Which to me really downgraded the centre not to mention the carpark and surrounding suburbs." Ms Neale I couldn't agree more. The moment shopping trollies move into a suburb you can bet that house prices will fall, oh yeah, they'll tell you change is good, that the trollies will make life easier, but the moment you turn your back they're taking all the good parking spots and pushing their foul smelling trolley aganda at council meetings. The next thing you know your only daughter will come home with one- how are you supposed to explain that to the Jones's? We need to make a stand.

Also, at the church down the road there was an abandoned trolley on the front lawn. I suspect the priest had stocked up on tins of soup for a bath and forgot to return it.

Moving on. The Melville Herald ran with a great front page "Bruno bears his billboard for God." A crazy German man stands in the median strip of South street with a billboard hoping to remind drivers that Jesus loves. But a billboard usually only elicits two responces. A)" I didn't actually know that people wore billboards. I thought they were just part of a hollywood cliche" or B) "I better remember to pee when i get home. Bladder is getting kinda full. I should have said no to that third cup of coffee."

Anyway Bruno wants his 'fellow drivers' to know that "Christians in Iraq are persecuted because their skin is a little bit lighter than the other locals.' Thanks Bruno. I've been waiting for someone to point out how to spot a Christian for a long time. I usually look for grey leather shoes or bowl cut hair styles. I've been wrong all along. Christians have lighter skin apparently. Although i'm not so sure how well his theory stacks up. I've got a very close friend with red hair. The kid sins. Almost as much as i do in the shower.

Anyway, Bruno's interview does have some gold. "Some people stop and congratulate me , and want to know more." (Yeah I could really see that happening."Excuse me sir, that's an interesting billboard. I have just stopped on this very busy street to find out more") "Others give me the sign of the finger. I don't know what that means... I give them the sign of the cross." If Bruno doesn't know what the 'sign of the finger' means, he should probably go have a proctology exam. All men his age should, and he'll definitely learn the true meaning of the signal.

* The settings have been changed to allow anyone to make a comment. Enlighten me

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Damm those trolleys. But without them, a large amount of young people would be left either without the exciting high paying job of a trolleyboy/girl, as well as the means to appease boredom whilst stoned- the trolley race!

Shaz

Anonymous said...

I didn't know reading the Herald could entertain you for so long
willofthewaves

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