WANTED

I'm looking for anyone that wants to start a graff gang. I saw the most ghetto scene ever on late night SBS-Run down, trashed, outer limits Philly. Against the wall of crack basement someone had written "Boys in the hood" in the dodgiest writing. It's probably the coolest graff I've seen all year. Anyone that wants to buy flanno overcoats, baggy jeans, and Nike Air Zooms and get 'boys in the hood' mad with me just let me know.

I also want to start a skate gang. We'll rip the sleeves off our shirts so we go faster. We'll rock wide boards, no less than 8's, and bomb car parks. We gotta grow our hair long and give each other crocodile tattoos.

Does anyone want to start a hipster art band? Not the crap you hear on JJJ but a real art band. take the dissonance of a stoned out Youth solo and mix it with grind. We'll be called Goliath. We'll wear eye patches and smash our 50 buck guitars (two guitars no bass) against the drums. We'll never wash and play samples through old casio clock radios.

I'm gonna start a Beagle wrestling club. I'm training Louie up for a battle. Kid knows how to roll- that's gonna come in bloody handy. Beagles are mad tough. Louie has spent the arvo pruning my bonsais. He's a perfectionist. What Louie didn't dig was ripped straight off. He said really bonsais are meant to look gnarled and chewed. He told me to stop being such a whiny yank and learn to let stress roll off my shores like the winds of San Diego. He's obviously brain damaged.