Back in the days when I used to smoke weed I ate a big bag of Cheetos a couple of times. Man, those two go hand in hand. I ate a pack again the other day and felt like I sucked more MSG than two kilos worth of instant Mi Goreng. For the unacquainted, Cheetos are these super orange cheez(it’s a powder) and bacon balls. They make your fingers go fluoro orange like you’ve been giving Ernie and Bert proctology exams. I reckon they’d give anaphylactic and asthmatic kids wheeze attacks. “Mum uh uh uh Mum!!! Uh uhwhheeeso wheeeeeessssy”
The best thing about Cheetos is their mascot Chester. The back of the bag is entirely dedicated to listing Chesters Rad facts.
Favourite apparel: Sleek pair of shades (sleek pair of shades!! Awesome Radical Surfboarding!)
Favourite Snack: Cheetos (Well duh! Me too Chester, me too. I cry until my mum buys them for me every day and I eat them at school in the toilets. Awesome!)
Favourite pattern: Spots (I have spots but they aren’t my favourites. I hate tinea but I love you Chester!!!)
Occupation: Amateur Skater and Surfer (I go to school. I liked year 6 so much I’m doing it again)
Fave pastime: Catching radical air on half pipes and hanging gnarly on great waves (Hey Chester I don’t like swimming or roller skating. I do like rubbing back and forth on my belly on the soft mats in the gym at school)