Friday, November 13, 2009

Beagletron Demazin

You know how they say double denim is a crime? I was thinking that if you had a denim jacket this doesn't really leave many options. You can basically wear tracksuit pants (ala train track smack fan or Quokka fanatic), leather pants (ala suburban British swinger), corduroy (ala dog loving dog lover with dandruff) or shorts/skirt (ala a guy called Ron who marinates sausages and wears a medi-alert bracelet for gout and always asks if he can come over and have a shower but then just sits in your bathroom sans shower and leaves 15 mins later). That's the options. Apparently.

Ethan Fowler rocked double denim in Nervous Breakdown. Incredible.

I was thinking that if I fed my beagle a little bit of petrol each day for the next year, a calculator and some battery acid, he would probably turn into a transformer. Once we went away and my girlfriend's mum looked after him. Then she went away on a holiday (which we didn't know she was going to do) and palmed the dog off (palmed the dog off! ha! Masturbation jokes!) to a British family that lived next door. When we returned we found Louie being patted by a ruddy faced woman. She said "Oooh he's a great dog him. He loves a cup of tea! He drank one out of a mug I'd left on the ground! We've been making him a cup of tea everyday! He loves 'em sweet!"

Her intentions were pure but I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be giving dogs cups of tea. He's into coffee. Instant coffee straight from the tin. Loves the stuff.

1 comment:

HIRSUTE said...

At this party I was holding a cat and I said, I feel like I could take over the world. And she said, yeh like an evil warlord! And I said, maybe I will just take over a little country, like Poland. That would be easy. And she said, what. I said, Poland. Easy. Few tanks on the lawn. No biggie. She said, no, I can't hear you. And I said, POLAND I WOULD INVADE POLAND. She said, No. No, I can't hear you. POLAND I WOULD INVADE POLAND AND KILL EVERYONE. I think she may have been jewish, on reflection.