Saturday, March 06, 2010

Everyday I'm Dodging Earnest Youths

When I ride my bike 2kms to catch the train everyday, I get my Lance Armstrong on. I grab the handles really tight and try and pump my biceps up so I look like some pro who has just smashed about a thousand kilometers. I pretend my legs are like pistons and I arch my back and dig in while a go through roundabouts.

I almost got hit by a car the other day. They almost drove through me at a roundabout. I had right of way. I had to jam on my breaks (which aren't too good because my bike is like forty years old and I bought it from a guy who lives in Rockingham who was drinking beer at 10 in the morning and who probably found the bike in a swamp while he was setting his illegal mullet traps). One of the girls in the car that almost hit me looked shock. She had her mouth open sort of like someone yelling "DEAL! DEAL!" at an episode of Deal or No Deal.

I didn't really know what to do so I was just like "WHAT THE FUCK!!!" I thought that was appropriate. I felt cool because I got to swear in public which is almost as satisfying as leaking in a friend's swimming pool before they jump in next to you. Then I kept riding and pretended that that kind of thing happens all the time. I was off to eat some vegetables and watch youtube videos of babies eating lemons.

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