Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Prune Walker

I was thinking last night that it would be unfortunate to be someone who really liked eating prunes. Nobody would believe you. If I come over to your house and open the fridge to get a beer (check me out - drinking beer!) and saw a jar or bag of prunes I would say "Not getting enough fibre eh?" and raise my eyebrows like the self assured tosser I can be.

"That's not why I have them. I love the taste. I eat them with natural yoghurt for desert" You would say. And it would be true. You really liked prunes and find them to be delicious. The thing is I wouldn't believe you. I'd think that you were probably one of those people that ate nothing but meat and cheese and couldn't crap. That's what I'd think and all your "prunes are tasty!" wouldn't change my mind. Next time I saw you I would puff out my cheeks until my face went red and go "Uhhhhhhhhh!" You would call me a dickface and would be well within your rights but it wouldn't bother me as I "know" you're constipated and will continually refer to it everytime I see you eating.

Also, most days I walk my dog in the time period between 9 in the morning and 3 in the afternoon. There are two schools in walking distance but I constantly avoid walking by them as I feel like I would look dodgy. Because everyone that walks a dog past a primary school must be a kiddy fiddler right?

1 comment:

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